Just Throw the Party
I recently threw a party for content creators, our third annual Boise Content Creator Meet Up. More than 50 creators came together and, yes, it was a lot of work to pull off. But the reward was so substantial. People laughed, people connected, and people left feeling like they were part of something. That is the thing I have noticed about the best parties I throw. There is no ask.
Of course, there is a mission behind them, but the mission is simple. The mission is connection. The mission is fun. What it is not is a hidden agenda. It is not a way to sell something. It is not a way to figure out what someone can give me. It is simply a party.
And somewhere along the way, I think we forgot what that is.
Earlier this year Ellen Cushing wrote an article called Americans Need to Party More that summed it up perfectly. Her article was in response to a sad question from Reddit that I think many of us as adults have thought: “Did anybody else think there would be more parties?”
She pointed out that “many Americans are alone, friendless, isolated, sick of online dating, glued to their couches, and transfixed by their phones, their mouths starting to close over from lack of use.” She notes that our “national loneliness is an urgent public health issue” and that “the time we spend socializing in person has plummeted in the past decade.”
She is right. America is in a party deficit. Only 4.1 percent of Americans attended or hosted a social event on an average weekend or holiday in 2023. That is a 35 percent decrease since 2004.
A party is not networking. It is not gathering to see what you can get from someone or to try and pitch them. It is not pretending to host a dinner only to slip in a product demo at the end. Honestly, I do not know anyone who has not felt awful after realizing they were invited under false pretenses.
A party is simply when you gather to have fun. With friends.
The art of the party is being lost. We are so used to attaching an agenda that we forget joy is enough. The music, the food, the conversations that wander late into the night are what actually bring us together.
Last year I went through some pretty difficult health things and while I was recovering in the hospital, I thought about how much I just wanted to be around my girlfriends and some carbs. So I went home and planned a grilled cheese sandwich pool party. The entire agenda was eating grilled cheese sandwiches and drinking wine around a pool. Do you think there was a single person who declined that invitation? It was simple, it was easy, and it was pure fun.
There is also an art to who you invite. Bringing together curious and kind people, even when their backgrounds and beliefs differ, can create deeply meaningful and rewarding connections. If you want to really get down to it, I have been enjoying the book The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker. She talks about all kinds of gatherings and the importance of having a purpose, but she definitely covers parties.
And here is the truth. Hosting a party does not need to be complicated. If you struggle with certain things, shift the party to make it easier:
• If you do not know how to decorate, do not plan the kind of party where decorations matter. Keep it casual.
• If you do not like to cook, order food or ask everyone to bring something. People are happy to contribute.
• If you are an introvert, find an extrovert friend to collaborate with. You bring the thoughtfulness, they bring the energy.
• If you do not have a lot of friends, just invite a couple. A party does not need to be big to matter.
• If cleaning overwhelms you, pick one space to tidy up and let the rest go. Or host outside.
• If you do not have a lot of cash, do a potluck, host a movie night with simple snacks, or just throw hotdogs on the grill. You will be shocked how much people really just want to get together.
So here is my encouragement to you. Just throw the party. Open your doors, invite people in, and do not overcomplicate it. No sales pitch, no networking requirement, no outcome needed. Simply a celebration of connection, because that is more than enough.