Oxytocin Summer
The summer scaries have hit, and I’m wanting to do things a little differently. I’ve made a plan for a more regulated nervous system this summer. Some of you know it’s been a year of slowing down. Breaking out of the machine.
And now I am refining.
Less dopamine.
More oxytocin.
Less exhaustion.
More connection.
Less cortisol.
More peace.
By September, I want to feel like myself again.
Being a mom, summers have been notoriously stressful for me, especially when I went from being a stay at home mom to working from home. Trying to manage three children’s schedules with bringing in an income as an entrepreneur is hard. SO HARD. And I just don’t want this summer to lead me down a path of absolute exhaustion. And especially, I’m done reaching for dopamine every time I’m stressed.
It’s time for creating the conditions for oxytocin instead of artificial dopamine triggers. Oxytocin is a hormone that helps us feel connected, safe, and bonded. Something women are not taught, because it takes us out of our constant producing. We have the shame and cortisol to prove it. A dopamine-driven life keeps us seeking, achieving, consuming, and anticipating the next reward.
The next purchase.
The next achievement.
The next reel in our scroll.
The next thing to do.
It keeps us chasing.
It keeps us productive.
It keeps us a cog in the system if it is out of balance.
Oxytocin feels like: “I can relax.”
Dopamine feels like: “What’s next? - on repeat
So just in case anyone is interested: Oxytocin Summer. My plan:
Slow mornings. I wake up rested since I went to bed early with calming rituals and intention. I avoid my phone and glance at the clock instead. I welcome the day with a stretch to clear my energy field and say out loud “Universe. Show me how good today can be.” I say it with a smile. Because I am joyful I get this day to live. I make my coffee and enjoy it in the garden. I avoid scheduling work during that time.
Presence with my family and loved ones. Focused attention on seeing, hearing, and holding space for people in my life I care about. More listening than talking. Socially I’m pretty exhausted, so protecting my space is important. But still giving of my energy to those I love most.
Spend daily moments in Ancient wisdom and grounding. The absolute game changer of this year was integrating ancient wisdom. It’s extremely important to me to get back in touch with things that humans, and especially women, have known for millennia, but groups with very specific religious beliefs have pushed out. If I was taught to fear something, I want to learn what they didn’t want me to understand. This includes: meditation, tarot, sound baths, moon and circadian rhythms, mindfulness, connecting with nature as a spiritual practice. Finding healing within myself and through energy healing.
Communicating love to my body. The way we talk to our bodies has power. We were taught to hate and judge our physical bodies from the earliest age. Or to feel shame in them. It makes us weak and sick. I want to show up in absolute LOVE for my body. For the miracle it is. To show it nothing but gratitude. Lifting weights, walks, and stretches in a communication of love to my body. And also talking to my body… I have begun to talk to and thank the different parts of my body out loud. We usually only think of our body parts when we are frustrated with them or judgmental. Of course they respond back as the enemy. But showing gratitude changes us. It helps us recognize what we have been given to spend this particular life as a human.
An example: Dear body, today I choose to work with you instead of against you.
To my nervous system: You don’t have to stay on high alert. You are safe. You can soften.
To my cells: Thank you for carrying me through every season of my life. Today I offer you rest, nourishment, and gratitude.
To my immune system: Thank you for protecting me. I trust you to do your work without fear or fight.
To my lymphatic system: Keep moving. Keep clearing. Keep doing the quiet work of healing and restoration.
To my heart: Settle into an easy rhythm. There is nowhere to rush today.
To my mind: You don’t need to solve everything at once. Come back to this moment.
Using showers as a ritual of calm. Water is a powerful tool. And every day we stand under a steady flow of warm water in solitude. Often in an accidental trance. We can use this as a portal for energetic cleansing. As the water runs over me, I intentionally release the stress, resentment, worries, and I let the past versions of me I no longer need wash down the drain. What no longer serves me washes from me. I step out my higher self. If it’s possible to shower in the dark, I’ll do that.
No screens after 9 PM and sleep as a focused renewal. I want to be going to bed much earlier. Ideally be in bed by 10 o’clock in a clean room that feels calming. And I want no screens after 9 PM. I purchased a “Brick” so my social media is not accessible until I get up and move into another room. No first thing in the morning scroll to wreck my circadian rhythms. I step out into the sun and greet my garden first. (Audibly giving thanks and encouragement to my plants and pets.)
Recite my mantra throughout the day: “Amazing things are always happening for me!” A couple months ago I started this habit. Whenever something good happened, I would say out loud, “Amazing things are always happening for me!” The universe gives you what you put into it. Gratitude creates more gratitude. Abundance, more abundance. A short line at the grocery store. A new client. A smile from my child. Joyful acknowledgment of the many gifts I receive every day.
Read. I love to read for the joy of it. But I kind of forgot that in the need for everything to be productive. I want to be a kind, empathetic, emotionally intelligent person, so I need to engage in the things that keep my mind growing and open. I might not do it every day. But a couple books a month that I love.
Seeking out Nature. Long ago I healed from the idea that a greater power would be found in a building or a book. It is all around me and inside me. I need nothing else. Soak in the sun. Feel the grass on my feet. The chill of the river. A reminder that I was never broken. My wholeness is reflected in the beauty around me. I will heal with the wind, the birds, and every other miracle like me. Sundays, especially, I want to search out a place of spiritual connection outside of human intervention.
No rigid goals. I’m not putting any specific goals on what it’s going to look like at the end. The basic goal is that I’m going to feel better about myself and feel more joyous and more centered. I don’t think things like this should always have to be scalable and measured because I think that detracts from the journey. I’m not turning this into another self-improvement project where I fail because I didn’t hit perfect metrics. This is a movement towards a better version of myself. ANY movement is positive and reaches a future self waiting.
Feel free to join me. This may not be your version. Yours might be wildly different. But I bet you can see the places in your life that could use some intention and calm. Maybe you choose just one thing. But the end of the summer, you will be different. That’s kind of magic.
